After our only long holiday

The last moments of the last day of a long holiday. Back to this house again, which I’ve left it 5 weeks ago. Left with an excited heart looking forward to all possibilities a month free of studies could give, including a vacation planned by our own; came back with a heavy heart unwillingly. I called it ‘after-a-long-holiday’ syndrome. We are back to face our responsibilities after a break from it.

 Not so bad actually. At least I could stop wasting time after school reopens, caused during the holiday more time is wasted. Yeah, and there must be something interesting in this new semester, something worth looking forward to in Ipoh.

 The Hong Kong+ Macau trip would be a great experience which makes this holiday different and more meaningful. Other than that, let’s see what my achievements are this holiday. I did meet up with few friends, attended some classes (nutrition, leadership, beauty), practiced some piano, tidied room a little, read newspapers almost everyday, diet for 5 days, & improved a relationship. Some I’m not sure they should be considered achievements, haha. As usual, there are plans not achieved due to laziness.

 I agree on the saying ‘You’ll do more efficient things when you have less time’. During a holiday we tend to relax as there is much time. Therefore it’s good to make ourselves busier so we waste less time. Back to reality. Rather face it happily

 

It’s mid March.

Wow it’s been 2 and 1/2 months since the year has started. Many things had happened for the past 2 & 1/2 months, some are quite significant in my journey of life. I am in a journey of learning, of gaining experience and becoming mature. I’m growing.
Things can’t go completely like expected in this unpredictable journey. Ups and downs are usual. Believe that your luck won’t be bad all the time Simple tip to happiness: Magnify positive things while minimize negative ones  

Updates:

Finals for first year med is coming in a month’s time! Intensive-study time.

Might be planning to travel after finals

Business is coming up good, making my extra time more meaningful, my life different from other ‘full-time students’ in a good way. Chasing my dreams while living a well-balanced life

20 I’m in now, still young & long journey ahead. Receive quite some wishes on my birthday. Thank you all for letting me feel loved, appreciate it

random:

I can live without social networking sites. Proven.

Is there so much knowledge to learn about a relationship?

 

Will miss you, 2011

One more post before the year ends. We think that time flies because we clearly remember long-time-ago incidences as though they were yesterday. Actually, a year is not a short time & we have certainly grew with time, just the extend of growth in the year varies between different people.

2011, the year I am 19, will walk into history in few minutes time. To review, although there’s nothing extraordinary special in the year, it still makes up an important part of my journey in life. This year marked the start of my Uni life. I definitely hope for a more fruitful new year ahead, as my previous youth is limited and there’s no returning.

The last photo of 2011

2 years back, I had a white new year under a completely different culture& atmosphere. Last year, I counted down & had fun with a special friend. As for this new year, it seems like a lonely ordinary non-festival day but it’s ok. No need big celebration, just some awareness that one whole year has passed & there’s a great year awaiting. The future is in our hands.

HAPPY 2012!!!

 

Blogging and Socializing

How do you feel on a Friday night? A slightly elevated levels of adrenaline? Feel like yeah, gonna put down work or studies to enjoy!!! The idea of it’s a Friday night might give me some excitement. But without any good plan or activity, your ‘golden night’ will just be wasted away or feeling like any other nights. Lost excitement brings about emptiness.. Normally the busier or more overloaded you are during the week, the happier you’ll be on Friday night as you are really looking forward to the weekends.

Think I’m not having the blogger’s blood although my mind is active and I would like to express my many thoughts. Even when I’m so feeling like blogging to drain my overloaded ideas, sometimes I’m stuck and the passion diminishes after I’ve started writing, maybe just after few rows. Might be because I want to produce “better than ordinary” sentences to ensure that what I’m writing really match my flow of thinking. Trying to perfect the sentences and thinking how to do it eventually obstruct my flow of thoughts. So, long hours will be needed, even for a simple post. I know there are ways to get better, by producing shorter posts and care less about how beautiful the sentences are. Hmm.., that’s what I should do.

I still occasionally (although very rarely) update my blog a little so that it’s not dying; partly because there are still views of my blog, not many, but it’s bad to let my visitors waste their few seconds just to find that there’s nothing new. And there’s satisfaction when a post is produced. Thank you, really, if you are reading.

Social networking sites, those are what almost everyone is up to right? Nowadays I don’t really like to post personal things on fb or plurk. I feel like protecting my thoughts and emotions. Some people make themselves so easy to be tracked, their daily activities and thinking.. I think it’s not safe this way. But it’s ok for simple-minded people I’m suppose, they have nothing to hide. Perhaps you’ll know more about me when you read my blog rather than following me on fb, because this place is meant for me to express, somehow it feels safer to write here. Social networking sites are more to viewing other’s profile, getting updates & feeling like you’re on track in the community, for me. And to get a little attention sometimes, maybe?

Peer pressure could be a prominent thing, it could shape you or modify your thoughts, especially if you do not have a strong self- identity. But, you are free to choose who do you want to be influenced by, so you are the result of your choices.

OK, a satisfied post, although a little random

 

I’m Kiasu. Is it good?

Actually IT was already quite long ago and people have stopped thinking or talking about IT. I who intended to post about IT earlier almost abandoned the intention. I was just browsing through my half-dead blog and decided to give it something to prevent it from dying. For me, creating a new post is not an easy task; really it takes quite some time and effort to arrange my thoughts into sentences, of which I’m satisfied with. To create a post that I’m pleased and happy with, I kinda need to get into a ‘blogging mood’, it’s made easier when I’m inspired or stimulated. Since my brain is filled with disorganized thoughts and it’s difficult to produce an article out of them, so I’m thinking of making a post related to my results, which is easier to begin with.

Lol enough of the preface. Let’s make this informal. “Yay! OMG! 3 A*?! That’s the best possible result I could get!” I tried to run these words in my mind.

*Rewind*

I was actually looking forward to the announcement of results. Why? Honestly, was waiting to experience the excitement once we know our results. If I say that I didn’t expect good results, then I’m lying. Was waiting to be able to be proud of myself. Was secretly hoping to be the best, to be admired, to enjoy how people look high on me. Often it’s that good feeling, like I’m on the top of the world, which pushes me to work hard, to keep myself in my position. And it’s the opposite kind of feeling, the disappointment when I get bad or moderate results, which reminds me that I can’t fall behind, for fear of losing.

 

Wow, I’m amazed by my honesty for writing the above paragraph. Really, I’m not normally so frank. I had little realization that the kiasu attitude has taken root in me. It has become my motivation to study, and also my pressure. My kiasu syndrome came from my chinese-educated background, but it has become milder (good thing) when I enter my secondary school which does not really encourage students being kiasu (unlike my primary school). So now, I’m not among the extremists of the kiasu people, luckily as being too kiasu is not a good thing. Recalling that in my primary school, half of the students made a list to record the exam marks of their competitors for each subject, just for comparisons, and we were able to find out our position in class (based on our results) before the teacher did. A serious reflect of the kiasu attitude, right?

So, are you guessing that I flew up above the clouds once I got to know my pretty results (A-level)? Not much so. I was abnormally calm when the grade of each subject was told to me. Then it felt like so ordinary, no special mood elevation. There’s nothing excited to look forward to anymore. The results didn’t excite me much partially because I knew others are doing quite good as well. I’m just among one of those who scored great, nothing so special. That was my honest opinion. And the result was kinda expected.

Then when I got to know few people whom I expected to score as good as us scored a little less, suddenly I felt that the results we got are actually not easy to score, the ‘nothing so special’ feeling faded a little. I felt that I’m really not bad after all, and felt a bit happier. In conclusion, my kiasu syndrome is based on comparisons with others. What I’m craving for is not excellent results, but simply a result which makes me better than others, or stands out. Another way of saying is ‘it isn’t about how good I am, it’s about how good or bad others are(compared with me)’. Is this considered a kind of healthy competition?  Anyway I’m proud of myself, and proud of us who scored well. And I made sure that I was grateful. With what I have, what more can I ask for?

When people ask for my results generally, I just said “quite good” or similar phrases, dare not declare it proudly, for fear of them thinking that I’m arrogant or showing off. Especially to those who scored less well. Haih, how contradicting I am, wishing to be recognized, but dare not tell loudly that I’ve scored awesome results.

 

People around me already have very high expectations on me; just like that I’m having on myself. So this time, as usual, my family and friends’ respond is calm, like “Oh..”/ “You sure get straight A’s one la…”  (In my mind: Can’t you just at least pretend that you’re so happy and proud of me to make me glad?)

Anyway, in the end, no matter how well we scored, that’s doesn’t really change anything now since we’ve already entered University. We simply need 3 B’s for the minimum requirement. Whether it’s 3 A*s or 3 B’s, the path is laid. The important thing is, we should hope for good results for the right purpose, like ‘good results bring happiness’ instead of ‘good results help me defeat others’ =)

ByEuniceTham.23/9/11.0031.

 

Still OK

What would you do on weekends if you are a student studying at a place 3 hours away from your home? Going back often? Find places & friends to hang out with? Be a good student and revise the lecture notes or even study in advance? TV/laptop as ‘time killers’? Better suggestions?

Even keeping yourself occupied is not an easy task when you are away from home. Lots of KL people in my batch, and seems like they go home quite often. Home is always the most comfortable place, but for me, there’s no point going back too often, as nothing really useful is achieved each time in such a ‘comfort zone’.

How were my weekends spent? Here they went, the 5 consecutive weekends: Moving in; Orientation at Pangkor; Visited by parents; Backpack tour+ B’day celebration+ Drawing epitheliums; Back to home (finally).

College

So far so good, I’m suppose. My few friends and I being the ‘minority’ (in terms of ethnicity) are a little conspicuous, but I don’t find myself having problem surviving in such a community. Our batch mates seem not difficult to mix, but it seems unnecessary to mingle around very much. Have talked to and worked with quite some of them but not knowing them in depth.

Talking about the transition from pre-U to MBBS degree, in terms of studies it’s like taking away the 2 subjects, Chemistry and Physics. So now we’re like doing pure Biology, which is further divided into a couple of subjects. Some fun elements in Chemistry and Physics are therefore missing, such as the pride when we’re able to explain a complex theory; the satisfaction when a calculation is finally solved or when a complicated concept is finally understood. As Biology is more about facts that cannot be argued, I think Chemistry and Physics require more thinking, making the brain more active.

College life in terms of lectures is not like what I’ve expected. I didn’t imagine that we’ll have 160 students all attending the same lecture at the same time. But that’s common in university, isn’t it? I thought that I want to start being active in classes and often interact with the lecturers. I wanted myself to get really serious in studies; preparation before classes, no lagging or last-minute studies, with all the right attitudes of a typical good student. Those were in my mind before the semester started. But now I only manage to be persistent in not sleeping in lectures, that at least. My excuse is it’s difficult to do so in this environment.

This is only the first semester and we’re studying about some foundation things. It’s actually easy for me, just mainly need to remember the facts. I’m grateful and proud that I have my A-level as a stronger foundation than my mates, where most of them took foundation in Science. It’s ok not to study for now, just attending lectures, so almost a month has passed and I have not really studied anything yet. My notes and books are barely touched. I often ignore the voice in myself that urge me to study, but not until this weekend. I hope that the pile of notes will not bore me into doing something else.

Besides lectures, some programmes are actually quite good and prepare us to be better doctors. Will talk about them in the next post, I hope.

It’s just the very beginning and too early to comment or speak much. More will come and just be open to accept things that come your way, learn to like them, then you’ll be happy

 

The first step on the medical path

            When I secure a place in the medical school, I’ve already got a foot in this noble path, which leads me to the title doctor, who bears great responsibility as people often have their lives on the hands of these professionals. Many of the speakers’ words and advices are true enough although the talks seem so boring that people snooze off sitting in their chairs.

            The 7-day orientation ends after a sleep-depriving 3-day trip to Pangkor island. Most of our time at the orientation week was spent by listening to lengthy briefings. Today is the official start of lectures and classes. Even though this is only the first class of the first year medical students, we’ve already been challenged by a task, much unexpected. We already have to act like a doctor, asking a ‘patient’ questions regarding to her illness. We are required to discuss about the case with our limited knowledge and do research.

            This is really the university life that they say. Previously up to A-levels/ pre-University, we enjoyed being spoon-fed, just digesting the syllabus then sit for examinations. Now we have to use more of our brain where our critical thinking, research skills, communication skills, reasoning skills and consistency in studies etc. determine our survival in the course. That’s what I came to learn today.

            Studying is not the same anymore. Self-directed learning plays a big part. We are taught by experienced professional doctors, to be life-savers like them one day. This path is not a smooth one. Studying medicine isn’t easy, most people say. Then after going through this bumpy journey, I’m sure that I’m gonna be a much better person, well-trained (including mentally) and not afraid to face any big waves in life.

      In my desktop I pasted the note:

{ Hello, Dr. Tham-to -be !

 I’ll OVERCOME every CHALLENGE in the path towards being a medical officer WHATEVER IT TAKES, because I know at the end of the journey, I’ll look back with JOY and see that it’s WORTH IT !

 I will live life to the fullest! }

My journey is still long.

Pangkor

 

The Future

Sometimes to create a habit is not an easy thing as it has been a habit to not have the habit.  For example blogging. We naturally resist change. I read that declaration is a powerful tool to change. True that starting a change with declaration helps. Therefore I declare that

“I want to blog consistently and make blogging a habit of mine!”

___________________________________________________________________________

It’s now the transition. We are going to pursue our tertiary studies at a city away from home in barely 10 days’ time. Am I prepared mentally to be a medical student? We’ll see.

Away from home is not a so big issue now as it has been my status for the past 11 months, even though this time it’s further. Ability to be independent is gained when we become less attached to our home sweet home. Away from home speeds up our rate of mature. I certainly grew a lot on the past year, fortunately not in terms of my weight. Those who never left home might not understand.

In this short enough break between the end of A-level exams and being called a university student, things could hardly be done and I always blame it for the too short holiday. My lack of diligence (the better term for laziness, lol) has just put me into a relax mode. It seems to be always so after some events like an exam that partly wears us out. So we often struggle for certain period, then relax for some time, then soon we’re on the restless mode again (normally near exam). This is caused by the last-minute-attitude. Is this healthy?

When I’m back from Singapore which is our travel plan for this year, it must be a hectic time for me as only little time is left for final preparation before we head to Ipoh, where we’ll spend our next 5 years at least. There’s much to look forward to for the future, though I’m not too excited about it.

Bye Malaysia for temporary, may we have an enjoyable trip and gain something worthwhile. Who knows what is to be expected.

 

Suffocated

The intensity of pressure falling upon me is incresing at an accelerating rate when the examinations are nearing….  *Gasping for air*

This is the price to pay for not studying hard enough earlier (last-minute). Bombardment of stress… I must grow stronger (mentally) and believe strongly that I can survive through it, with victory by my side at the end of the “war”! Yes, I can!!!

By the way, let’s change the tense atmosphere. There’s this interesting story that I would like to share.

True story! It’s about this rooster at my grandma’s house at kampung, a loving husband. When corns are thrown to him, he will peck at them and finish in a split of seconds. Wait. No, the story does not go like this!

While this is what normal chickens do, this one behaves differently. He will keep guard of the corns to ensure that other chickens will never have a chance to get their beaks near the corns. Exception is to his wives. He will wait for his wives, the hens to come and eat the corns. If there’s any left, then it’ll only be his turn to eat.

How lovely, right? Saving food for his beloved wives! I once heard him crowing (making loud sounds) after his wife had laid eggs, as though he is announcing proudly to the world about the news!

Sorry, the blogger’s introduction will be later. Forgive me for the lack of posts in this busy moment.. Welcome to comment =)

 

Blog Relaunch

Finally a new blog, perhaps a more proper one this time. This seems like an old blog because some posts are even dated 2008 but this is actually my very first (proper) post in WordPress and the previous ones are from my space (old blog). I thereby announce that my personal blog is reborn with the publishing of this post! *claps*

Why blogging (again)?

Life is interesting and amazing. I find even matters that seem ordinary are actually noteworthy and worth discussing about. I always have thoughts, ideas and opinions that I wish not to keep it to myself but to share them with those who are interested. This is a good place for expressing what is in my mind. It’s also a place to practise my English. I hope that blogging can become a habit to me. My blogging style will be different from previously and hopefully more interesting.

Sorry for taking too long. I’m just being good at delaying (to start to update my blog), which is a bad thing =.= And now, preparations for the coming final exam is occupying most of my time.

To know/ know more about me, be a reader of my next post  Coming soon. I’ll unveil something about myself…